Let’s Unpack Expectations

Expectations: I believe we all have them, but we rarely explore why we have them, or what they are...

So peep. Recently, I’ve been overhearing myself complain about my expectations. They’re not being met, etc. I’m big mad, and I want everyone to know it. In these moments, my frustration levels are at their peak. Maybe you’ve been there.

Anyways, let’s unpack “expectations” and start thinking about how to manage them.

 Unpack Expectations

If you find yourself upset that your expectations aren’t being met, take 5 min and ask yourself some quick questions:

• What do I expect, specifically?

• Where did this expectation come from?

• Is the other entity (where applicable) aware of my expectations? How do I know this?

• Is this a reasonable expectation? Why or why not?

Often, we allow our assumptions to inform our expectations. This is dangerous. We think something is certain to happen or should happen, without any proof. If we’re honest, it’s the reality for many of us- I’m not exempt!

 Manage Expectations 

We can seek to prevent disappointment by establishing in advance what can realistically be achieved or delivered... Basically: managing expectations can prevent disappointment.

If you have a reasonable expectation, write it down. Communicate it.

• Ask for what you need, directly

• Assess- can or will this person or entity commit to fulfilling my expectation? What have the agreed to? What has history shown?

Mental Health Awareness

In light of May being #MentalHealthAwareness Month, I wanted to publicly share that you can have a #RealConvo with me! 

We all have mental health, and I’m very passionate about ending the stigma associated with it. It’s important that we prioritize our mental health! There are so many free resources out there. 

Also, you never know what people are dealing with. Not sure how to have a convo with someone about it? Here are some tips from @afspnational :

1. Listen attentively

2. Ask open-ended questions

3. Don’t assume or make judgments

4. Find a way to help or get help

If you are in crisis call 1-800-273-8255. Or text TALK to 741741 💕

Expectations pt. 1

Expectations. We all have them. If you’re like me, the default response when they’re not met often includes eye rolls, and an overwhelming sense of disappointment / frustration.

But let’s be honest for a second. Sometimes our expectations are inappropriate and unrealistic. Expectations can be things we may feel we deserve, or are entitled to... Or they can be something we unconsciously start to desire because of what we’ve seen others experience.

There are a lot of tips out there regarding managing expectations, and this isn’t that, at all. LOL! I just wanted to share my quick thoughts and one tactic that I use to “unpack” my expectations. My goal is to see what my expectations are and where they’re coming from. Then, I determine what, if anything, I can do.

But #howsway?? Glad you asked. So peep. My “expectation” isn’t met and I start feeling a way. RIGHT at that point when I feel myself become irritated or disappointed, I run through a quick mental checklist. And sometimes I write it out. This does two things: helps me to take a breather and refocus my energy in the moment... And here it is:

1. What do I expect?

2. Where did this expectation come from?

3. Is this a reasonable expectation? Why or why not?

4. Is the other party aware of my expectations? (If applicable)

5. What are my options? What can I do?

Here’s some additional food for thought:

People don’t always have the capacity or the desire to meet our expectations.

Entitlement can strangle relationships.

Try not to impose or manipulate someone into meeting your expectations.

Communication is key. Share your desires and where they stem from. Ask the other party directly, for their feedback. Ask, is this (insert expectation) something you’re willing and able to meet?

I’d love to hear from you! Let me know your thoughts if you try this out. What do you think about expectations? What have you discovered about yourself and your expectations? Comment below!

Habit vs Intent

Sometimes our habits keep us from being intentional. If your intent is to grow and love, you'll notice growth and love being poured into your life... the moment your actions align with your intentions.